I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
