i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
