it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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