when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This is my gift to your gina
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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