So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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