We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
