It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
