sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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