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I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
