my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Randomize
