My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
