Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
