its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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