my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
