Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
