jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize