i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
