I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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