Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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