TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
