Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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