Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
