I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
