glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
