told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
