after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
