ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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