Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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