is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
