you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
