i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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