the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Quick, to the slutcave!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
