I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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