wakey wakey hands off snakey
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
