On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
