Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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