theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
