Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
