And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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