I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
