Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize