She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
