the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Of course I have a pirate flag
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
you made out with another girl for some wings
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
