Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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