We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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