Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
