Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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