i need an iv and a liver transplant
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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