Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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