Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
