we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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