if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
