i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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