he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
