So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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