She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
