I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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