I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
