So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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