ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
