I smell stomach acid.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
