i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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