we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
