remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I could make wine with my vomit
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you will always have a special place in my vag
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
