Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
