she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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