i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
