At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
