Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
