I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I AM VODKA MAN
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
