Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
