and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize