pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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