What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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